I'm Just Like You
by Kansi-a-lari
Summary: Oneshot of what went through Rose's mind when she gouged out her eye.


I know, it's really short, but it's just a little scene, and I didn't want to water it down. It from the end of the Family Lost arc, when Deathstroke and Ravager go back home after the scene with Raven and Joey.

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**I'm Just Like You**

She had messed up. On the way home, she could tell her father was mad. He hadn't said a word the whole time. She hadn't dared to. She knew she had made a mistake, but she just couldn't kill him. He was her brother, even if he didn't have a real body. She closed her eyes. If her dad kicked her out, she had no one. She couldn't let that happen. She couldn't.

They went in silence into the house. Rose waited with fear to what he would say. She knew he had been thinking about it the whole way home. She watched him walk over to the coffee table. She knew he would say something soon. That she wasn't good enough; strong enough. She never was. Ever since he found out he had a daughter, it seemed like she never lived up to what he wanted her to be.

"You aren't ready Rose," he broke the silence, his voice cutting into her.

"I-" she stammered, she felt anger and pain welling inside of her. She couldn't let this happen. Why did she always fail? Was she really never going to be good enough?

"You hesitated," he spoke sharply, she could tell he was disapointed. She kept feeling worse. It felt like a knife was digging into her. "You cost us retribution--" he shook his head. He wouldn't even look at her, "--for a brother you never even knew."

She didn't know what to say. She felt like crying, but she couldn't. That would only make it worse. She couldn't let him see her pain. She had to be strong.

"I thought I could change you," he kept going, deepening her pain. He layed his gun down onto the table. Still he kept his eyes away from her. Like he couldn't even bear to look at her. "I wanted...I wanted someone to be there."

Like father like daughter. They were both alone. She needed him. She was sick of being alone. So was he. Joey had killed Wintergreen. She supressed the pain at the thought. When Slade hadn't been there, he was like her father. Now he was dead. Why did everyone she cared about die? Her mother, Wintergreen, her foster parents. She couldn't handle it if he kicked her out. She had to show him that she was like him. "I won't fail you again, Daddy--" she said, trying to crush the anguish she was feeling. It hurt so much, she had to stop it somehow.

"You always fail me," he stayed turned away from her, "Every one of you." He became angry, vehement, "I was wrong about you, Rose. You're **nothing** like me." He cleched his hands. His children always let him down.

She had to prove to him that she was like him. She had to quell the rising panic inside of her. "No." The word came out strangled, choked. She had to do something. She couldn't deal with this. With lighning quickness, she grabbed a dagger from her father's sheath. Without realizing exacly what she was doing she held it over her head. "_Daddy!_" She had to show him. She had to.

She arched her back, and brought the dagger down. She heard the material of her mask tear, just as an instant later, so did the ligaments of her eye. Pain shot through her skull as she plunged it deeper. The metal was cold, she could feel it in her veins. She didn't let herself gasp, or make any noise. With one hand pushing the handle down, and the other wrapped around it, she continued the torment. A thousand thoughts of nothing raced through her mind.

It seemed like she was suspended in time. The moment dragged on, and the pain endured. No thought of stoping the pain passed through her mind. Her heart beat faster. The blood, the pain, it stopped the agony. At some level, it felt good. She relished in the pain, the feeling of the knife in her skull. She was like her father. She wasn't alone.

The pain brought her back. The never ending pain. It was ripping through her being, almost through her soul. But she was to strong. She woundn't be broken. She would push herself to the edge of all humanity, and return with nothing but memories of pain. This pain would end, but while it was here, she embraced it. She welcomed it. It brought her to her senses back to the real world. She drowned in it. It washed away her anguish, filling it instead with the pain.

Blood trickled down the side of her head, where the dagger was still burning into her eye. She pulled out the knife, and fell onto her knees. Her hands covered her eyes, as the physical pain overcame her. She didn't see her father's shocked gaze. He hadn't said a thing; he couldn't. He could barely grasp what he had just seen.

"Hnnn..." she groaned, blood pouring from her empty eye socket. Her fear was gone, nothing remained but the pure adrenaline. She felt strong. Like nothing could ever touch her. Like she would never be hurt. Her father knelt down next to her, speechless. "I'm just like you Daddy," she said. She looked up at him, and slowly took her hands away from her bloody face.

Her left eye was completely gone; just a bleeding hole remained. The blood leaked through the gap in her mask where she had cut it. Not even Deathstroke had cut out his own eye. As she turned her head to him, blood splattered in all directions. She had to make sure he knew. She couldn't fell that pain again. She just wanted a family. She had to prove she was strong. That she wasn't weak. That she was worthy of being the daughter of the Terminator.

Her voice rang out in clear tones, a thread of staisfaction in it. Of triumph.

"I'm. Just. Like. You."


End file.
